Ehara taku toa i te toa takitahi, engari kē he toa takitini

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Just as it takes a village to raise a child,

it takes community or a team to enable an individual's success

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This whakatauki speaks about the importance of having your team or tribe behind you.

This is something that has come through loud and clear  in all of these episodes!

 

Interview with Anna van Riel

• Imposter Syndrome can show up as a result of old conditioning, being taught to us from our parents and grandparents - ask yourself - is this mine?

• This can show up as a body response to a situation and pushing that feeling down, not listening to it but regretting it later. It’s not always self-talk but can feel like a block.

• Consider what failure means to you. Is it trying, OR is it not doing something perfectly?

• Imposter Syndrome can show up as a fear of failure.

• Gratitude is a great strategy to counteract negative self-talk or to acknowledge the progress you have made.

• Have some tickboxes to work through to assess what is showing up for you.

• Having a mentor is vital - you don’t have to do this by yourself AND you’re not supposed to do this all by yourself!

• Byron Katie - ask “whose business am I in?”

• If it’s your business, you can do something about it.

• It’s NOT your business when you CAN’T do something yourself e.g. someone else’s opinion, something someone else needs to do. Stressing about these things is unhelpful and can affect your mental health.

• Demographic of the loneliness people experience has changed from the elderly to being our children and presents as anxiety & stress.

• EFT - tapping on the Chinese Meridian points and speak what’s stressing you out and use positive self talk to re-programme. This can be done by surrogate with children to help them change their narrative.

• Your self talk is your business. When you are in negative self-talk, you are not tapping into gratitude.

• What is your business - what you can change and what you can change is acknowledging what you do have. This also helps ground you and get out of a past loop.

• Be really mindful of the content you are absorbing which includes:

  • The people you’re around

  • TV programs

  • Games you play

  • ‘Doom scrolling’ on social media

• Ask yourself, ‘what does the content you’re absorbing leave behind? How does it make you feel?’ 

• We have the same chemicals in our brains as we do in our gut that help us make decisions (see the links in the resources). Your gut hasn’t evolved to know what self-doubt is, hence the term ‘gut feeling’ this is the true feeling without self-doubt.

• Take the quiet moments to check in with your body to assess what the decision feels like.

• Quotable quotes help to remind yourself about gratitude and connecting with others to support you - call in your people.

• Be open, willing, and curious.

• Always room for growth as well as undoing things - it may just be a thought, and a thought can be changed.

• Self-validation - don’t wait for someone else to tell you that you are worthwhile, this will affect your mental health and elevate them higher than you to say you are worthy. Do this for yourself and sit in the joy. 

• If you’re finding it hard to do something alone, it’s not for you to do alone - tap into your people.

• It’s ok to make mistakes, be kind and gentle with yourself while you’re learning.

• If you wouldn’t say the self-talk to a baby or toddler, you shouldn’t say it to yourself because you contain those parts within yourself - be kind.

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So what, now what?

• Think about something you are struggling to do at the moment and consider the following questions:

  1. Whose business is this?

  2. Which needs to change - your perception about the block, or your procedure around how to move forward?

  3. What is one step you will take right now to address this? Tell someone what this action is. Make this someone you know will help hold you accountable for this step and check in with you to see if it’s done.

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Links to Dive Deeper

• How to be a better human being (podcast on Spotify)

• EFT and quality of life

• Thesis - Introducing EFT to reduce anxiety and improve wellbeing in primary school students

• Tapping with Brad (YouTube)

• Gut-brain connection

• Gut-brain connection presented using connected papers

• Ted Lasso (on Apple TV)

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Acknowledgements

Anna van Riel - Interviewee

Corrinne Devitt- Co-Host

Ve Grant-Lawlor - Co-Host, Interview coordination, Scripting, Music, Recording, Production, Editing, Publishing, and Summary notes