Nāu te rourou, nāku te rourou ka ora ai te iwi

With your food basket and my food basket the people will thrive

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The whakatauki for this episode speaks about the importance of the relationship between people in order for everyone to do well. That’s the key message from our kōrero with Brendan.

 

Key points

• The relationship between students and teacher needs to be at the centre of our mahi

• The dynamic relationship determines how a particular situation may play out

• If it’s all about the kids and you’re not concerned about the teacher, you are ultimately not concerned about the students - it can’t all be about the kids - that type of relationship is unsustainable for the dynamic to be healthy

• What is in place to help support that? Compassion, practical support for their teachers

• Tactically, if you’re talking about teacher wellbeing, people start hearing almost the opposite

• It comes down to - how healthy are the conditions in the classroom for students and teachers to be in good relationship in there

  • Nuanced enough to deeply engage with the kids

  • Have time to be nuanced

  • Not sending teachers into a room where they are heightened to deal with kids who are heightened - someone is going to tip it over because there’s no space to deal with it

• When teachers are in a good space, they are more responsive than reactive with the students - we need to ensure we give our teachers the conditions they need to allow them not to be heightened

  • Build in opportunities to lift skills to deescalate themselves

  • Build in empathy and concern for their life and the things they are dealing with outside of work

• Do do we help teachers to be seen?

  • To BE seen, you have to FEEL seen

  • Ask them! 

    • When you’re collecting teacher voice, ask them “what makes you feel seen?”

    • When you’re appreciated, valued, seen, what have people done to create that for you?

  • Some things will be processes, timelines, having a second sentence for me when you meet me! Knowing enough about me to have a conversation with me. When I’m down and I need a day to collect myself, do I get it?

  • As leaders, recreate those conditions!

  • Don’t ever forget that our teachers are people first and a job second

• Kids who engage with teachers and have a relationship with them already know they are being seen

• If the teachers are seen, it’s easier to see the kids and there’s ‘money in the relationship bank’ if you need to make a withdrawal if things tip over

• It’s the student-teacher dynamic that needs to be protected, on behalf of both learning AND life

• Purpose of education = life lived better - this needs to start in the relationship!

• Imposter Syndrome in the education space, teaching is almost a mental health disaster! Teaching is an imperfectable job done by people with an appetite for perfection 

  • The child is never finished

  • The work is never over

  • If you don’t go in with enough self-compassion and wisdom to put things down from time to time, you could be susceptible to Imposter Syndrome because you can never be finished!

  • Find a work ethic to do well enough

• Work on our own internal state so we can stand up to possibility and think more incrementally about progress

• Perfection is the enemy of growth - you don’t get high performance by aiming for high performance

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Post Kōrero

• Ginger Healy - can recommend all strategies in the world but the truth is the very best strategy is YOU! The nervous system matters and the brains & bodies hold onto the nervousness

• It takes a regulated adult to help regulate a student. If a teacher is exhausted and feeling burntout, they are unable to do this.

• Self compassion changes the brain so it can take in new information

• If a teacher says this to you, do something for them! Be kind to ourselves and kind with others

• If the teacher student dynamic works, you have space and a buffer zone for when it doesn’t go so well

• Ask how they can be seen?

• There’s a real importance for having a teacher in front of a class who actually believes in the future

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Links to dig deeper​​

• Regulation and Co-Regulation - Ginger Healy (book)

 

About Brendan

Brendan Spillane is a distinguished Australian educator, speaker, and executive coach renowned for his work with senior leaders across various sectors, including business, education, and elite sports. His career began in teaching, where he served as a teacher and principal, before moving into significant roles within the Catholic education system in Western Australia. Here, he spearheaded systemic change initiatives focused on organizational renewal and improvement.

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Spillane's expertise extends to cultural change, establishing effective feedback systems, and supporting leaders in developing the skills needed for crucial conversations. He has been involved with the international OUR Education Network, which aims to enhance educational outcomes in several countries. Brendan is also a sought-after keynote speaker, having presented at prestigious events such as the International Conference on Thinking.

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An engaging presenter, Spillane uses a blend of story, metaphor, and humor to foster insightful and authentic dialogue. He is passionate about capacity building in individuals and teams, helping leaders take personal responsibility, and promoting the behaviors that underpin a high-performance mindset.

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For more details on Brendan Spillane's work and contributions, you can visit Learning Network NZ​

 

Acknowledgements

Brendan Spillane - Interviewee

Corrinne Devitt- Co-Host

Ve Grant-Lawlor - Co-Host, Interview Coordination, Scripting, Music, Recording, Production, Editing, Publishing, and Summary Notes