A Paradigm Shift, PLEASE!

We need to change the traditional narrative around the concept of resilience. Shanker, Showalter and Hopkins (2025) rightly argue that it is a state, not a trait. That is, the foundation of resilience is a physiological state within our nervous system and it is sourced deep in our brain (Shanker et al., 2025). I would further argue that a paradigm shift in educational (and parental) thinking and approach towards resilience, is required. This is the central argument of this blog.

However, before focusing on the specifics of this paradigm shift,  I will firstly highlight the limitations of traditional resilience-based programs. At the heart of these traditional programs, there is a reliance on ‘talking approaches’, such as cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT). These techniques often only provide short-term coping solutions to the individual. They do not address in any detail root physiological causes to problems or challenges. In other words, these programs do not address an individual’s stress response within their body-their homeostatic imbalance.

I will also discuss the research regarding the stress response within the body by delving into specific nervous system states. This will highlight the idea of homeostatic imbalance occurring within the body. I will then outline specific strategies to use when there is an imbalance occurring-the use of up-regulating and down-regulating activities. In addition, the seminal, physiological-based work of Jaak Panksepp and Robert Thayer, will also be highlighted. Their work adds significant weight to this paradigm shift.

First, let’s look at this traditional view of resilience and why it needs some revision. Such a view has dominated the resilience landscape for a very, very long time. In fact, as we will see, the traditional view of resilience has its roots in Victorian times.

Resilience seen as a trait

Parents and educators have been seduced over the years by the central idea that an individual is resilient when they overcome some form of adversity or challenge by ‘bouncing-back’ or moving on from it. There is also an assumption promoted within traditional resilience-based programs that for the ‘bounce-back’ to happen, an individual (not the environment) needs to change. At times it is even suggested their character needs fixing in some way (Shanker et al., 2025).

This viewpoint also promotes the idea of self-control, where the challenge or difficulty that an individual faces needs to be directly solved by them, using willpower as a mechanism for change (Shanker et al., 2025). A perception of willpower is that you will be able to overcome your difficulty if you reframe your thinking-changing negative thoughts to positive ones.

These cognitive-based, reframing techniques can certainly be helpful, but they first need to be layered with a body-based somatic approach (such as deep-breathing) to calm and regulate the nervous system, so the prefrontal cortex is accessible and ‘on-line’.  Unfortunately, traditional resilience-based programs often rely too much on cognitive (pre-frontal cortex) approaches to solve problems and rarely use somatic approaches, excluding the wonders of internal bodily processes. 

Integrated into this theme of resilience is the idea that individuals should be aspirational and achieve success in their own right. By looking up to resilient, often famous role models, individuals receive an implicit message: build your character in their image—or even strive to become like them—in some way.

I remember my own secondary school days when we studied so-called 'resilient individuals'. They were identified as 'resilient role models', and we were even given a choice as to who our role model would be.

My favourite subject was basketball legend Michael Jordan (MJ). As a young teenager, I learned that a high school coach once told MJ he wouldn't make it in basketball. That must have been a devastating blow at the time, but this 'slap in the face' was clearly motivating for him; he obviously had a point to prove.

I often wonder how that coach felt over the years, especially as MJ was dismantling defenses across the NBA. Jordan, of course, went on to become the greatest basketball player in the history of the game. My apologies to the LeBron James fans who might disagree! During the Chicago Bulls' championship runs in the 1990s, I would even miss university lectures to see 'The Great One' in action. At the time, I justified it by telling myself I was simply watching my chosen resilient role model.

In all seriousness, we have been seduced by the cult of the famous role model for too long. I suspect I would have admired MJ regardless of any school project; while it didn't inspire me to pick up a basketball and try to emulate him, I truly admired his journey. Perhaps, in the end, that was the entire point.

However, I have many questions running through my head about this (limited) approach. Firstly, are famous role models a realistic role model anyway? Is it focusing on the concept of success too much? Is it best to focus on a person’s effort or the process they went through? Moreover, isn’t it best to be inspired by a ‘significant other’ closer to home-a person we actually know, have some personal interaction with and can directly relate to? Doesn’t this latter approach have more meaning and purpose? You may find similar questions running through your own mind right now.

Shanker et al. (2025) posit that character-based, self-control resilience-based rhetoric, has its roots in the Victorian period (1837-1901).  It was a period of significant industrial change. The early years of the Victorian period were the latter years of The Industrial Revolution. The concept of resilience was related to industry where investigation on the malleability of different metals was common. Finding out the breaking or stress-point of metals was important during this time. 

Pig iron was often turned into cast iron, using intense heat. The cast iron was often then used in the development of bridges and gates. Victorians would use intense heat to see how long it would take to melt different metals and then see how long it would take for them to return to its original state. To use a resilient-based term, Victorians were interested to find out how the metal would ‘bounce-back’ to its original state (Shanker et al., 2025). The more stress-resistant or resilient the metal, the more likely it would be used in shipping, bridges or gates.   Cast iron was obviously a ‘commercial winner’ during this time.

Here’s where this gets relevant -  soon after the Victorian period the idea of stress resistance was then applied to parenting (Shanker et al., 2025). Being resilient in the 1920s was about the ability to cope with stress. As Shanker et al. (2025) point out, parenting was all about using strict parenting strategies to mold the child. John Watson, who founded behaviourism, was the ‘influencer’ of this age where he believed that strict parenting was the order of the day. Don’t hug, kiss your child or show any other affection!

Stress-tolerance was considered character building, not an innate physiological process. Watson believed that parents could shape their child as they see fit-a lot like metal manipulation of the Victorian period.  Achieving parenting success was founded on behaviourism. Following on, the 1920s in England, as with the Victorian era, was highly competitive, achievements and success were paramount to social standing. Shanker et al. (2025) suggest that it could be argued that this ideology exists today.  

Remember Jo Frost, from Supernanny, who used the ‘naughty-corner’ a few years ago? I wonder how those little ones ended-up, emotionally? Hopefully, not too scarred.  I admit, I did like to watch the show, if only I knew then, what I know now. The Maya Angelou quote, rings in my ears:

 Fig 1: Maya Angelou

Shanker et al., (2025) also point out that John Watson would often use the term, ‘mollycoddle’ with parents he worked with (I think that sounds like something Jo Frost would have said too). Watson was against parents who ‘mollycoddle’.  Don’t helicopter parents, ‘mollycoddle’ their children in today’s world? Some terms just stick don’t they?

Research has now shown us however that resilience is a far more dynamic neurobiological process- its roots are located far deeper in the brain, not simply within the prefrontal cortex (Shanker et al, 2025).  

Let’s now have a look at what is really going on.

Understanding stress response in the body

A starting point for reframing resilience is understanding the stress response in our body, especially our Window of Tolerance (or just-right) state, hyper-arousal state and hypo-arousal state. Being aware of our body’s feelings and sensations, we can identify what nervous system state we are in.

To conceptualise and understand the stress response, I will use Dan Siegal’s Window of Tolerance neuroscience model as highlighted by Dängeli (2025), which illustrates an individual’s ‘optimal zone of arousal ability’. It is also an individual’s ability to manage their emotional and physiological responses.

I like to use Revs Per Minute (RPM), related to a car engine, to explain the stress response. When our RPM’s are just right, our body is in homeostasis. This is when all our internal organs and systems are regulated, balanced, and in synchrony with each other. Organ and cellular regions and networks are working optimally.

Window of Tolerance State

When we are within the Window of Tolerance we are not being activated by perceived external threats, but are feeling a felt sense of safety.  In this state, we are most likely to feel safe with the people around us and the environment is also safe. The Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)-known as our rest and digest system-is working in synchrony with our Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS). We are resilient and able to manage most challenges that come our way.

Being in this state is like being involved in a complex, highly-effective partner-dance. Body parts are moving fast, in rhythm and in sync with each other. (Dancing was something I actually always struggled with- to my wife’s frustration. She would say, “Ants you’re too flat-footed. Move those hips!”)

I also liken this state to ‘opening the car-up’ on the high-way, with the engine just purring along… RPMs are at the optimal level. Petrol is not been guzzled (just as well in a global oil crisis). It’s like we don’t have to press too hard on the accelerator...just pressing lightly and noticing the engine efficiency and output. Did you see that Mustang go by? Just purring along?

Hyper-arousal state

When an extreme event or experience occurs we will sub-consciously shift out of the Window of Tolerance. For example, when someone is physically threatening us on the street or a natural disaster occurs of some kind, like an earthquake or flood.

Then our RPMs are too high, our Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) overrides the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) and our body is not in  homeostasis-it is in ‘homeostatic imbalance’. Our SNS is simply burning too much energy (Porges, 2011). As Porges (2011) notes this is a high energy, hyper-arousal state, where our body is in overdrive. Our hyper-arousal symptoms can be: anxiety, panic or anger. It is often termed the ‘fight-flight’ response. The freeze response also occurs, where the body is immobile, in a blended hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal state (Dängeli, 2025). The body is feeling alert and tense. Our PNS is trying to rectify this homeostatic imbalance- trying to bring our internal reactions down, but to no avail! 

This is now a highly ineffective partner-dance with the partners out of sync. The PNS and SNS are bumping into each other, stepping on each other’s toes … we are all over-the-place.  The PNS dance partner is working hard to support their SNS dance partner, but becomes exhausted quickly. The PNS is trying to lead but the SNS is too overwhelming and doing their own thing. 

We can notice it in our bodies when we go into this hyper-arousal state. Specific physiological symptoms can significantly increase in this state-heart pounding, sweating, muscles tensing, rapid, chest-breathing, and high blood pressure (as examples). Sensory overload can also impact on our arousal state (Porges, 2011). Too much cortisol! This stress hormone-is flowing, we have gone into a ‘flight-fight’ state because we are sub-consciously perceiving a threat from somewhere or someone. We want to escape the threat in some way. Our body is fuelled with energy. It’s like the car has gone into overdrive, foot on the accelerator....using too much fuel. Some people stay in this state for far too long for example individuals who have suffered chronic trauma. It’s like they can’t turn off that hypervigilant switch.

When ākonga are in a high energy state/hyper-arousal state e.g. anxious, excited, hyperactive, annoyed or angry the following activities can be helpful. The aim is to slow them down, relax and calm them-return to their Window of Tolerance. By completing down-regulating activities, we can become more resilient once we restore the body to homeostasis. Here are some examples of down-regulating activities:

• Time away from the classroom-a safe space with a trusted adult

• Drawing or Doodling

• Listening to calming, low tempo music

• 5,4,3,2,1 grounding exercise:

  • Take a few minutes to slowly complete this grounding exercise, to help you to be mindful and stay in the present moment.

  • Look for 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 2 things you can taste.

• Muscle relaxation: Squeeze your hands together into a fist, release and repeat.

• Breathing exercises, such as The Physiological Sigh.

Hypo-arousal state

When our RPMs are too low, cortisol is flowing and we are most likely to withdraw or dissociate, going very quiet or even collapse (Dängeli, 2025). This is our hypo-arousal state. Too often our youth of today are in this state, drawn in by the whims and fascination of technology.  Our body in this state is not in homeostasis. In other words, an individual in this state is feeling physiologically stressed in some way. Energy levels are low-in the form of lowered breathing rate, blood pressure, muscle tone and body temperature (as examples). Here, we are putting the foot on the car break ....

Up-regulating activities

Up-regulating activities are best used for ākonga who are in a hypo-arousal state- they can seem disengaged, bored, withdrawn, low, sad, or worried (as examples). The aim or need is to disperse energy before calming, to raise or disperse their energy through fun activities that increase their heart rate slightly. This process helps with restoration. Restoration is a precursor to resilience (Shanker et al, 2025). The following up-regulating activities will help to restore:

• Going for a run or a brisk walk.

• Listen to up-beat music.

• Creating pressure or friction-e.g. rubbing hands together.

• Any exercise that involves energetic movement, e.g., skipping, jumping, hopping.

• Bounce a ball as fast as you can on the spot.

• Constructing or de-constructing something that involves plenty of movement.

• Pay attention to your surroundings. Look around the classroom or take a walk around. the school and count as many things of one colour you can see.

Once we understand what state we are currently in, we can proactively do something about it. So the steps are, self-awareness and then some action.

The concept of vagal tone is also important to mention. It has been proven that individuals with high vagal tone are resilient. Those individuals with low vagal tone are not very resilient (Porges, 2011). Stimulating the vagus nerve is an effective way to increase vagal tone. There are specific activities that can do this. This includes diaphragmatic breathing, facial massage, humming, singing and chanting, meditation and yoga (as examples).

  Fig 2: Window of Tolerance

Primitive Emotion Circuits-the work of Jaak Pankseep

To go even neurologically deeper, with this reframing of resilience, we need to have some understanding of Primitive Emotion Circuits (PEMs) and how they relate to the concept of resilience. The idea of PEMs was developed by the seminal work of Jaak Pankseep (1943-2017), an American Neuroscientist. These circuits are located deep in the brain, including the limbic system, amygdala and hypothalamus (Pankseep & Wyatt, 2013).   As the name suggests, PEMs are based on our evolutionary roots and enable our human survival. Pankseep & Wyatt (2013) identified the following seven PEMs:

• SEEKING- drive to find resources

• RAGE-response to frustration, anger

• FEAR-survival

• LUST-sexual drive, desire

• CARE-Nurturing, connection

• PANIC/GRIEF-related to separation anxiety

• PLAY-social joy and engagement

Each PEM is innate from birth and helps us distinguish safety from threat in our environment. The PEMs also relate to all mammalian species (Pankseep & Wyatt, 2013). 

Shanker et al. (2025) suggest that the PEMs directly related to the concept of resilience are: SEEKING, FEAR and PANIC/GRIEF. For example, non-resilient individuals, including children and youth, can be paralysed by fear, pain, panic and grief, when stress is overwhelming for them. Their body is in a homeostatic imbalance. They will often withdraw or dissociate into themselves. Think of a teenager who retreats to their room and slams the door. They are exhibiting  physiological (and psychological) pain.

What is required to move them from their maladaptive state to an adaptive coping state, is some form of co-regulation (Shanker et al., 2025). Positive adult connection, co-regulating alongside the teenager, is important to reduce their PAIN and GRIEF circuit by dulling any vocal stress response (Pankseep & Wyatt, 2013). Effective co-regulation enables oxytocin and other brain opioids to be released, mitigating the stress response (Pankseep & Wyatt, 2013; Shanker et al., 2025).  The PANIC/GRIEF emotion circuit is emphasised here by Panksepp and Watt (2013):

When young children get lost and separated from their caretakers, they are thrown into a PANIC. They cry out for reunion, and their feelings of sudden alone-ness and distress may reflect the ancestral neural codes upon which adult sadness and grief are built.

A critical brain system is that which yields separation-distress calls (crying) in all mammalian species. Brain chemistries that exacerbate feelings of distress (e.g., corticotrophin releasing factor) and those that powerfully alleviate distress (e.g., brain opioids, oxytocin, and prolactin) are the ones that figure heavily in the genesis of social attachments…. (p.6)

Therefore, a ‘significant adult’ in one’s life can reduce the PANIC/GRIEF circuit by providing secure social attachment to another individual. This is what makes individuals who have suffered disrupted attachments and significant trauma, less resilient. Their internal circuit is in a state of constant PANIC and GRIEF, which leads to FEAR. They are also in constant pain, a vicious feedback loop at play. This is because their nociceptive (pain) receptors are constantly activated (Shanker et al, 2025).  

This contrasts with an individual who has secure attachment from birth. The caregiver who regularly cares for them via hugs and smiles and giving them the ability to self-soothe, helps build their overall resiliency. In essence, their CARE system has been activated from birth and they are more likely to grow up resilient adults-unlike those individuals where their PANIC/GRIEF and FEAR system has been activated frequently from birth. Unfortunately, an environment of violence and neglect will activate these latter systems.

Physiological Mood States-the work of Robert Thayer 

This idea that resilience is a state (within the brain and body), not a trait (based on a person’s character where they demonstrate some form of self-control to overcome some form of challenge or difficulty), can be emphasised using the foundational work of Robert Thayer (1935-2014), psychologist. He was a world leader in the study of human mood and how it affects people in everyday life.

His deep-dive, seminal study into mood focused on key indicators such as arousal, energy and tension, which have links to our evolutionary roots (Thayer, 1996). Thayer (1996) also argued that these indicators of mood are impacted by our sleep, the amount of exercise we undertake and our diet.

He created a mood-related measure, the Activation-Deactivation Adjective Check List (AD ACL) (1964). The check-list promotes a four-point scale focusing on physiological arousal. Specifically, Energetic Arousal is measured which focuses on energy versus tiredness. Tense Arousal is measured which focuses on tension versus calmness. Thayer’s concept of physiological arousal is succinctly demonstrated using the following visual. It conceptualises four mood states. It has often been coined the ‘Thayer Matrix’.

Fig 3: Mayer’s mood model

Visual accessed: https://alanrozanski.com/the-psychology-of-everyday-moods/

The Calm Energy state is when we are in that flow, optimal state. It is a high energy, low tension state.  This is when we can concentrate, complete challenging cognitive tasks and effectively socially interact with others. We are grounded and regulated, in the present moment. It is a state that is worth consolidating and advancing. It is a state in which we tend to be highly resilient, where the PNS and SNS are in synergy with each other. This is because we can often manage stressful challenges that come our way.

We are also most likely to be resilient when we are in the Tense Energy state. This is because we can often manage stressful events in this state. This is a high energy, high tension state, which means our mood stays high.  Physiologically, blood is pumping to the muscles, our breathing and blood pressure rate remains high. This is often referred to as the ‘wired’ state, which means we can sustain it for short periods. If the periods are too long,  exhaustion will set in, which will be our enemy. Therefore, it is important to integrate breaks and slower-paced, lighter activities into our daily routines.

The Calm Tiredness state is the recovery and restoration state, characterised by low energy and tension, such as lowered heart and breathing rate and blood pressure. In this positive state, the PNS is dominant.  It is where our nervous system resets. We are calm in this state. This is the state in which we sleep at night or complete low-level activities such as reading, doing a puzzle- characterised by rest. It is important that we integrate this state into daily activities so we can manage our overall daily energy levels.

The Tense Tiredness state is an agitated, anxious state, characterised by a negative mood. It is very much a low energy, high tension state. It is where our mind is often racing. It is a low resiliency state and can be characterised by indulging in harmful, addictive behaviours-too much sugar, caffeine, alcohol, device time, etc. The power of positive, wishful thinking alone will not get you out of this state. However, physical, meaningful, movement-based activity-will.

The mood states developed by Thayer, clearly demonstrates that the concept of resiliency is not a fixed, character state (Shanker et al., 2025). Resiliency, as a concept, is very fluid and dynamic-one part of the day we can be in a low-resiliency state and then another part of the day, we can be in a high-resiliency state. It very much depends on the context we are in and who we are with-but is very much driven by our physiology.

A final word... 

Next time, an educator comes up to you and says something like, “Johnny lacks resilience. He is choosing not to work on ....” After reading this blog, you clearly know there is some mahi to be done with this educator. A starting point for the kōrero regarding a particular ākonga could be unpacking Johnny’s stress response or reviewing Thayer’s Matrix, one quadrant at-a-time.... You could then map or translate this important physiologically-based information onto a holistic wellbeing model like Te Whare Tapa Whā, which we often use in our RTLB practice.

By completing such actions, you would be contributing to this paradigm shift, regarding the concept of resilience. 

References

Dängeli, J. (2025). Fertilizing the ground for post-traumatic growth with open awareness and compassionate companionship. Transpersonal Coaching Psychology Journal, 4, 16–30.

Panksepp, J., & Watt, D. (2011). What is basic about basic emotions? Lasting lessons from affective neuroscience. Emotion Review, 3(4), 387–396.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. WW Norton & Company.

Shanker, S., Showalter, D., & Hopkins, B. (2025). Restoring resilience. The MEHRIT Centre.

Thayer, R. E. (1996). The origin of everyday moods: Managing energy, tension, and stress. Oxford University Press.

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Glossary (NB: AI-generated, summary)

Cast iron and Victorian times

Cast iron revolutionized Victorian engineering (roughly 1837–1901), allowing for rapid construction of durable, often ornate bridges, particularly for railways. While pioneered in the 1770s, it became widespread in the 1830s for infrastructure, utilising compressive strength for arches and early railway girders, though it was eventually superseded by steel and wrought iron due to brittleness. 

Cortisol

Cortisol is a vital steroid hormone produced by the adrenal glands, often known as the body's primary "stress hormone" due to its role in the fight-or-flight response. It regulates metabolism, blood pressure, blood sugar, and immune response. Key usage examples include managing chronic stress.

High Vagal Tone

High vagal tone refers to high activity of the vagus nerve, indicating a robust ability of the body to manage stress, recover quickly from challenges, and maintain a calm, relaxed state (rest-and-digest). It is characterised by low resting heart rate, high heart rate variability (HRV), and better emotional stability.

Homeostatic Imbalance

Homeostatic imbalance is the inability of the body to maintain a stable internal environment (homeostasis), leading to dysfunction, illness, or disease.

Homeostasis

Homeostasis is the self-regulating process by which biological systems maintain a stable, constant internal environment despite changes in external conditions. It enables organisms to survive by keeping variables like temperature, blood glucose, and pH within narrow, optimal ranges using negative feedback loops.

Low Vagal Tone

Low vagal tone means the vagus nerve is underactive, limiting the body’s ability to manage stress and recover from it. It represents poor parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) system activity, leading to chronic stress, poor heart rate variability (HRV), and inflammation. It is associated with fatigue, depression, and high anxiety.

Nociceptive Receptors

Nociceptors are specialised peripheral sensory nerve endings (pain receptors) that detect potentially damaging mechanical, thermal, or chemical stimuli. Located throughout the body—including skin, muscles, joints, and viscera—they act as "threat detectors," translating harmful stimuli into electrical signals sent to the brain to trigger protective reflexes, such as withdrawing from heat or pain. 

Oxytocin

Oxytocin is a hormone and neurotransmitter produced in the hypothalamus and released by the pituitary gland. Often nicknamed the "love hormone" or "cuddle hormone," it plays a crucial role in social bonding, trust, sexual reproduction, childbirth, and milk ejection. It reduces stress and anxiety while enhancing social connection.

Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)

The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is a division of the autonomic nervous system that acts as the body's "rest and digest" system, calming the body after stress, conserving energy, and regulating involuntary functions like digestion, defecation, and urination. It balances the sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) by lowering heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate.

Pig iron and Victorian Times

During the Victorian era (1837–1901), pig iron was the essential crude material that underpinned Britain's status as the "workshop of the world," transitioning from a charcoal-based industry to a massive coke-fueled operation. It is the raw, impure iron produced in a blast furnace, which was subsequently refined into wrought iron or steel for iconic Victorian infrastructure, including railways, bridges, and building structures. 

Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)

The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is a component of the autonomic nervous system that triggers the "fight-or-flight" response, preparing the body for stress, danger, or physical exertion. It increases heart rate, dilates pupils, widens airways, and diverts blood flow to muscles while slowing digestion.

The Activation-Deactivation Adjective Check List (AD ACL)

The Activation-Deactivation Adjective Check List (AD ACL), developed by Robert Thayer (1967/1989),  is a self-report instrument measuring transient, moment-to-moment arousal states. It typically uses a 4-point rating scale across four key subscales—Energy, Tiredness, Tension, and Calmness—to evaluate energetic and tense arousal. 

Vagus Nerve

The vagus nerve, or cranial nerve X, is the longest component of the autonomic nervous system, extending from the brainstem through the neck to the abdomen, regulating critical involuntary functions like heart rate, digestion, and immune responses. Also known as the "wandering nerve" or formerly the pneumogastric nerve, it functions as a bidirectional communication superhighway, facilitating "rest and digest" responses. Key usage examples for regulating this nerve include deep breathing, cold exposure, humming, and gentle facial massage.