“Thank You for Hearing Me”: The Quiet Power of Being Present

Last Friday, I spoke with a colleague who shared a quiet but powerful moment from an interview she conducted with a high school student. This wasn’t just any student—it was one who had long been known for explosive behaviour. Frequent outbursts. Shutdowns. Disengagement. He had been labeled “difficult,” “non-compliant,” even “aggressive” in previous reports.

But during their time together, my colleague had been using Dr. Ross Greene’s Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model—a framework that shifts the focus from behaviour management to understanding the why behind the behaviour. CPS is rooted in the belief that kids do well if they can. That when a young person is struggling, it’s not because they’re choosing to defy or disrupt, but because they’re still in the process of learning the skills they need to meet the demands being placed on them.

Instead of controlling or correcting, my colleague created a space where he could talk. She asked questions, listened with care, and worked with him to understand the unmet needs beneath the surface. And as their conversation came to a close, the student—once considered too unpredictable to reason with—paused at the door, turned back, and said: “Thank you for hearing me.”

That sentence stayed with me.

Later that same day, I watched a talk by Dr. Meredith Fox on trauma-informed teaching. She shared her own story of deep personal loss: at just 10 years old, her sister was murdered. Five years later, her mother passed away. Her trauma didn’t show up in ways that teachers often recognise. She didn’t lash out or cause disruptions in class. Instead, it showed up as deep mistrust.

She constantly worried that others were talking about her. That people were gossiping behind her back. She kept her guard up and struggled to trust anyone—not because she was defiant, but because her world had already proven how unsafe it could be.

But there was one adult who made all the difference: Mrs. O’Mara, her teacher. A woman who didn’t demand trust but earned it quietly. She created a space that was calm, consistent, and safe. She didn’t pry or try to fix Meredith—she simply offered presence. Her classroom became a place where Meredith didn’t have to look over her shoulder, didn’t have to explain herself, and didn’t have to be anything other than a child trying to get through the day.

That classroom became her place of peace.

Both stories—one of a student with explosive behaviours, and one of a girl silently navigating grief and fear—remind us of the same powerful truth: every behaviour tells a story. And when we take the time to listen—not just with our ears, but with our attention and empathy—we give young people what they need most: to be seen and heard without judgment.

Dr. Greene’s CPS model teaches us to see behaviour as communication and to partner with young people in solving the problems that fuel their struggles. Trauma-informed teaching, like the kind offered by Mrs. O’Mara, creates the foundation for this collaboration: safety, trust, and consistency.

In education, we often feel pressure to act—to correct, to advise, to solve. There’s an unspoken urgency to fix what’s visible: the disruption, the silence, the withdrawal. We’re trained to respond, to implement strategies, to meet outcomes. But what if the most important thing we can do, especially in moments of struggle, is to pause instead of press? To choose presence over performance?

Sometimes, the bravest and most effective response is simply to show up—not with solutions, but with softness. To offer peace in the form of consistency. To offer presence that doesn’t demand anything in return. To listen—not to respond, but to understand.

When a young person feels seen without being scrutinised, heard without being judged, and accepted without having to explain, that’s where trust begins. And once trust begins, everything else becomes possible—connection, growth, healing, change.

It doesn’t always start with a breakthrough. Sometimes, it starts with something quieter. 

A peaceful room. 

A thoughtful conversation. 

A moment of being truly heard.

These small moments might not seem like much at the time, but they often lay the foundation for what comes next.

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