Kids do well if they can: A counterintuitive approach to challenging behaviour

In the field of education, conventional wisdom often blames ākonga for their challenging behaviours, framing them as lacking effort, motivation, or discipline. However, Dr. Ross Greene’s model of Collaborative Proactive Solutions (CPS) challenges this perspective with a powerful assertion: "Kids do well if they can" (Greene, 2016). This principle fundamentally shifts our understanding of behaviour, which is especially relevant for those of us working as Resource Teachers: Learning and Behaviour (RTLB).

At the heart of CPS lies the idea that when ākonga are unable to meet expectations—whether academic, social, or behavioural—it is not merely a choice to misbehave but a genuine inability stemming from unmet needs. Dr. Greene advocates for a problem-solving approach focused on understanding what is preventing the ākonga from succeeding. This aligns well with our work as RTLB, as we often support ākonga who face a range of learning and behavioural challenges. By helping our kaiako reframe their thinking and change the lens through which they view these ākonga, we can help them shift their role from being enforcers and motivators to curious problem-solvers. This key lens change alters not only how we interact with kaiako but how we feel about the support we offer.

When we encounter ākonga struggling in school, it can be easy to jump to conclusions and assume their behaviour reflects willfulness or defiance. This approach oversimplifies complex situations and often leads to punitive responses that do not address underlying issues. However, if our role is to be curious about what is in the way for the ākonga, empathy is more likely to be present. As a result, our role as educators is to dig deeper and ascertain what obstructs the ability of the ākonga to meet expectations. Are they experiencing anxiety that inhibits their learning? Are there social skills missing that make peer interactions overwhelming? This underlines the importance of the Empathy Step in the CPS framework. Engaging in empathetic listening not only helps us better understand ākonga perspective but can also lead to surprising revelations.

For instance, I once worked with a ākonga who was having difficulty completing his writing during literacy time. After engaging him in a CPS discussion, we discovered that the sharpness of his pencil was causing him frustration because he couldn’t rub out his mistakes. This small yet significant barrier made writing feel frustrating and overwhelming and, as a result, he was disengaging from the task and creating a significant disruption for his classmates (and kaiako). Without working through the CPS process, I doubt we would have got to the root cause of his challenging behaviour nor found a mutually satisfactory solution. Such insights illustrate why we must never underestimate the power of curiosity and empathy in our interactions.

It is easy to read a post like this and think, "I already do that," and not delve any deeper. However, when you genuinely follow the CPS framework, you’d be surprised by the insights you gain about ākonga struggles—insights that can have a transformative impact on their learning journeys.

If we only ever focus on 'late' strategies—like providing a calm-down space or offering stress balls and time outs—we risk playing catch-up by treating symptoms rather than addressing the heart of the problem. This reactive approach often overlooks the fundamental issues that drive challenging behaviours. As noted by Goleman (2006), understanding the emotional and social contexts of ākonga can lead to more effective interventions. Without a thorough understanding of the underlying issues, we may inadvertently encourage behaviours to persist.

The beauty of the CPS model is its versatility. While I primarily utilise this framework in my mahi with kaiako and ākonga, I have found it equally beneficial in my personal relationships, including with my partner. Approaching difficulties through the lens of CPS encourages open communication devoid of blame and shame. By focusing on collaborative problem-solving, we cultivate a relationship where both parties feel heard and respected, ultimately leading to more effective resolutions.

I’m not suggesting this approach is a magic bullet. I acknowledge that ākonga who exhibit challenging behaviours often require significant personal resources, or ‘spoons’. Even the best of us can struggle with empathy when we’re running low on these resources. However, what if we changed our lens? The cost to ourselves is minimal, while the potential payoff is substantial.

If we can help kaiako embrace Dr. Greene’s assertion that "kids do well if they can," we can help them create environments that truly support all learners. Imagine a compassionate classroom where understanding allows us to meet ākonga where they are, fostering inclusivity for everyone.

By employing the CPS framework, we can shift our thinking from a punitive mindset to a proactive one, nurturing resilience and equipping both kaiako and ākonga with essential skills for success. This transformative approach not only benefits our ākonga but also enriches our professional practices as RTLB, empowering us to make lasting impacts in the lives of the kaiako, ākonga, and whānau we serve.

References

Goleman, D. (2006). Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships. Bantam Books.

Greene, R. W. (2016). Lost at school: Why our kids with behavioural challenges are falling through the cracks and how we can help them. Scribner.

Greene, R. W., & Ablon, J. S. (2006). Collaborative problem solving for kids with excellent ability. In V. L. R. L. (Ed.), Evaluating Children's Disruptive Behaviours: Application of Collaborative Problem Solving (Vol. 25, pp. 205-226). Springer.