.png)
Whether you are working alongside colleagues, working alongside kaiako or having a conversation at home with whānau, do you ever find yourself caught up in someone else’s drama?
What part do you play in the drama? Are you the “Rescuer” who tries to save the day? Do you play the “Victim” in the drama, feeling helpless and oppressed or are you the “Persecutor” who resorts to blame and criticism? These are the roles found in the Drama Triangle, a social model of human interaction first described in the 1960s by Stephen Karpman, a U.S. Psychiatrist.
Karpman describes the roles people often take on in dysfunctional relationships.
● Persecutor: This person is the aggressor, blaming, criticizing, and controlling others.
● Rescuer: This person is the helper, trying to fix problems for others, often to the point of enabling them.
● Victim: This person is the helpless one, seeking sympathy and attention, and often feeling powerless to change
their situation.
These roles are not fixed, and individuals can move between them depending on the situation. It's important to note that these roles are not about assigning blame, but rather understanding the dynamics of unhealthy relationships. We can all find ourselves, or those we work with, in one of these roles.
So how can you break this cycle? How can you escape the Drama Triangle? One way is to change our role in the game. We need to move from drama to empowerment. The Empowerment Triangle or Empowerment Dynamic was first coined by David Emerald, a consultant, facilitator, executive coach, speaker and author of “The Power of TED”
Both David Emerald's Empowerment Triangle and Karpman's Drama Triangle offer frameworks for understanding interpersonal dynamics, but they approach the subject from different perspectives.
Victim to Creator
In Emerald’s model, instead of playing the role of “Victim” we can become the “Creator”. Creators focus on what they want and achieve it through the skills of problem solving, accepting their own vulnerability and realising that they have power and can think about their options.
Rescuer to Coach
The “Rescuer” becomes the “Coach” guiding and encouraging others, through listening, asking good questions and setting boundaries.
Persecutor to Challenger
The “Persecutor” becomes the “Challenger” bringing positive pressure, taking responsibility, developing assertiveness and setting clear boundaries..
In summary, Karpman's Drama Triangle is valuable for understanding negative patterns, while Emerald's Empowerment Triangle offers a more positive and constructive framework for building healthy relationships and personal growth.
Karpman's Drama Triangle
● Focus: Primarily on negative, dysfunctional interactions.
● Roles: Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer.
● Dynamics: Often cyclical and self-perpetuating.
● Goal: To expose and break free from these harmful patterns.
Emerald's Empowerment Triangle
● Focus: Positive, empowering interactions and personal growth.
● Roles: Creator, Challenger, Supporter.
● Dynamics: Emphasizes collaboration and mutual benefit.
● Goal: To cultivate healthy, productive relationships and personal development.
In a nutshell:
So next time you find yourself being drawn into the Drama Triangle look at how you can break the cycle by taking on the roles of Empowerment.
Ki te kotahi te kākaho, ka whati;
ki te kāpuia, e kore e whati
When we stand alone we are vulnerable,
but together we are unbreakable
References:
Comments